I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I enjoy the company of your penis
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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