What a fucking waste of an outfit
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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