I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
