I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
