How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
