I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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