yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He passed out mid-signature
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
