you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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