Will you blow on my dice?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
