You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
