you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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