Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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