party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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