This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
