I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
