i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
