his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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