Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
