we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't deserve a penis
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
