we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize