I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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