Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
