Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
