so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
