Don't make out with my wife yet
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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