I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize