my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
