I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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