Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You are a genius and a whore.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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