people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I love having hate sex.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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