What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
