im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize
