doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
