should my penis look like a turkey
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
