Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
