We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
