ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
