New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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