Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Found your dick twin last night
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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