so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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