i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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