Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize