I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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