i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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