Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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