My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize