we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
