but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
