Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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