Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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