I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
