i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
