Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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