I have demons in me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
