this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
