I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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