I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
