i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
