did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
